From digestive issues, to a lack of energy and difficulty sleeping, to feelings of anxiety and depression, negative self-talk can take a toll on your physical and emotional health. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, not the words. However, it can be upsetting to hear your child using negative self-talk. Someone can struggle and not be stupid. You can read the notes around the dinner table once a week or whenever your child needs a shot of positivity. Respond to any negative comments your child makes by asking questions and encouraging your child. Challenging the Self-Talk. As … I’ve tried but it’s not working. Inside: The most common response to negative self-talk in children doesn’t work. Put yourself in your child’s shoes for one moment. It is possible to overcome this negative inner critic, take this wonderful course now. Negative self-talk can lower your self-confidence, self-esteem, happiness, and keep you from accomplishing your goals. Here’s a (free) printable toolkit with all the tools to creating your own positivity jar including labels, notes and ideas. Here are 8 ways to respond to your sensitive child’s negative self-talk. It’s sometimes difficult to view negative self-talk as purposeful. Knowing how to identify negative self-talk first is important because what you tell yourself becomes your reality. To respond to our friends’ negative self-talk in an effective way, we have to start by understanding where they’re coming from, Petrozziello says. Once you know which parts of the day or work are more difficult than others, you can plan accordingly, but also, it teaches to children that not all of the day, or an entire situation is frustrating – just a part of it. It can destroy joy, motivation, success, and self-esteem in a heartbeat. Step 4-Add positive emotions to your counter-balancing thoughts. What your child is really saying… is a surface emotion. Obviously we don’t consciously choose to deflate or scare ourselves, which means the source of these thoughts lies in a deeper part of our mind – the subconscious. 1. I give up!”. And she definitely won’t accept help from me. To give your child some reassurance or to convince them that their thinking is flawed. How to respond to negative self-talk? And this is especially important when negative self-talk runs your mind. Playing detective and asking questions to WHEN the problem started, will help you and your child recognize when something was going well and when it began to get difficult. In response, a part of our subconscious mind develops protective strategies to keep us from getting hurt. A lot of mental and emotional suffering comes from the way we talk to ourselves in our own minds, what psychologists call negative self-talk. Challenging the Self-Talk Disputing your self-talk means challenging the negative or unhelpful aspects. It’s your job to play detective and instead, identify where those feelings come from, problem solve together and then help your child challenge those thoughts and feelings. For more details about his work, visit www.celluarwisdom.com and www.thefearandanxietysolution.com. Our brains are actually wired to focus on the bad, and that’s why when hard stuff, tough situations, negative interactions and events occur, we tend to get wrapped up in them. Unfortunately, their words may match their feelings. Unfortunately, their words may match their feelings. Negative self-talk can make daily life unmanageable, hurting our self-esteem, relationships, motivation, and life-satisfaction.3 People often feel less than, useless, or fearful about life when their self-talk reaches this point. Response: “Hey, I really enjoy your workouts and space, you might want to consider talking to your instructors about the language they use during class. First, such proclamations are almost never accurate. You will notice how much easier it is to speak in a calm, reassuring and comforting way when you visualize addressing an inner child. What you see and hear is only the top layer being expressed. Exploring emotions and the situation together, can help your child not only develop important emotional intelligence, but discover what’s really bugging them. You must get to the root of the motion, to evaluate the circumstances empathetically. Put yourself in your child’s shoes for one moment. It’s something people often do when they’re feeling frustrated or sad. But how do you respond to the negative thoughts of this inner protector? Anything I can do to help?”. Our inner voice is trying to convince us that we are not smart enough, strong enough, or good enough to do what we want to do in life. If we tell ourselves that we can’t do something, then we are less likely to even try in the first place. Born of fear and anxiety, it’s a powerful force that often lurks below our consciousness. When negative self-talk spews from your child’s mouth, your knee-jerk reaction is to stop it. It can improve your health. Negative self-talk has even been linked to depression, so it is very important to get a handle on it. When he says things like this, I want to jump in and help, but these statements I know I can’t simply fix his low self-esteem just by sharing all the things I love about him and telling him he’s wrong. Read more on why you might be saying this, how negative self-talk can hurt you, and how to stop. – “That seems like a frustrating math problem, huh?” – “It looks like that’s a pretty tough skill to master.” – “I see how hard you’re working to do that but are getting frustrated.” – “That’s a frustrating assignment. The first step is noticing that a situation triggered a negative response. Recently I read a book entitled ‘You Are a Badass’ and one of it’s tidbits of advice for living a better life and achieving your goals is to start having kinder conversations with yourself to promote positive energy – as a way of attractive positive energy. Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided. Showing your child that a challenge, problem, trouble spot is merely a blip in their day can help them see that the five or ten minutes they’ve spent beating themselves up, is only a tiny fraction of their day and even smaller in the big scheme of things. Playback the situation for your child to show you acknowledge their frustration and are there to listen and help. This is why the following method is so effective that, with it, most of my clients can significantly reduce their negative self-talk within just a couple of weeks. Remind yourself that the negative self-talk you’re hearing is a LIE. Imagine you’re with a frightened, insecure child who says, “I’m afraid that I’ll fail” or “Nobody cares about me.” How would you respond? Cognitive Distortions: 10 Forms of Inaccurate Self-Talk That Make Us Miserable I can remember feeling like this weak, exhausted person I didn’t even recognize, who lacked self-worth, confidence and self-love. He recognized our abundant self-healing abilities can only function effectively when mind, body and spirit are in alignment, and believes the subconscious mind holds the keys to accelerated healing, well-being, and success. Do you they want you to sprinkle words of encouragement and tell them how “wonderful” and “amazing” they are even though in when they are using negative self-talk these won’t mean much, or do they want you to listen with an empathetic ear so they can get it all out and seek your help? 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